Harsh times Campaign
.. začnejo kjer začnejo.
Mestni drog z obvestili:
- Clear a basement with a rat infestation.
– Help wanted: Finding lost swan.
– A favorite of mine is the find the lost dog quest.You have the dog be possessed/trapped/whatever the fuck you want. Shit is always cash.
- Or have them catch rats in a sewer to take to a basement.
Each time they check the board have it switch between the two.
- “Helper needed, care for elderly”
- Make sure to describe the spongebaths in excrutiating detail, using all of the senses.Help them feel they REALLY ARE spongebathing naked old people.
- Stuffing goblins.
- Wanted! Capable Outdoorsmen to source and collect wild herbs/flowers for Apothecary Supplies Yes, pay your lvl 1 PCs to go flower picking
- have a really badly scrawled note saying “DEMONZ IZ ATAKIN OUR VILIAGE, PLZ HALP” and an address, when they show up at the place everyone is terrified of the evil demons that come at night. nightfall comes, and the PCs find no demons, but some houses have been broken into and raided for food, anything that’s outside has been ransacked or tipped over if it’s small. This continues as long as the PCs are there, until one night a child is stolen. If the PCs prepare a trap and are vigilant, they discover that there are no demons. The town has been plagued. BY A RACOON! (or a fox or equivalent fantasy beastie)
- Wanted! Adventurers for medical experiments! (On the basis that adventerers have higher levels, and are thus more likely to survive the experiments, and the apprentice apothecaries attempts to cure the experiments.)
- The defense force against orc attack has been freed and is rampaging amidst the town;
- A horde of cats need to be tracked down and subdued; they are hostile and very well may scratch the PCs to death.
- “Help wanted: body guard for two weeks.” when they get there its a goblin or kobold camp that’s waiting for the next generation to come of raiding age.
- Help wanted
Apply at back door of wizard tower
Water hauling experience welcome
Bring buckets if possible
- Characters get hired by some old guy to escort him to some shrine in the swamp. They have to kill a few undead bog monsters but ultimately it’s uneventful, they get paid and he invites them to stop by his home some time.If they do take him up on the offer, it turns out he’s a cannibal.
- WANTED: Collectors for Golden Collection Agency Golden is just the name of the business, the job is collecting people’s trash and waste from their chamber pots.
- A couple of cool wizards looking for a few other cool wizards to hang out in our party tower. Nothing sexual. Dudes in good shape encouraged. If you are fat, you should be able to find humor in the little things. Nothing sexual.
- Writed by childish hand: HALP WONTED NED GET RID OFF A BIG MEAN BULLY! I PAY YOU MY COPPER! And he pay you a copper coin
- The Lord and ruler of these lands hereby proclaims
That any and all capable men
Who in the service to their liege
Slay and present the head
Of any Goblin in the Royal Woods
Are to receive a stipend
Of five silver coins.
- Defend the towns vital resources against hostile invaders: Help the town healer pull weeds out of her herb garden
- Hunt down a lost, forbidden treasure (a greedy nobleman threw a gold coin into the town fountain by mistake and wants you to fish it out for him without anyone noticing)
- Adventurers needed for dire situation located at local bachelor’s wine cellar. Female adventurers only, half-orcs and dwarves need not apply. Ability to hold breath for abnormal periods a must. Gnomes paid in double.
Osnova je Burning plague:
- lvl 2 kobold sorcerer (chieftain)
- 17 kobods (Feat: Point blank shot)
- single dire weasel
- 8 domesticated rats
Feat: Spell focus (Conjuration (Grease))
So utrjeni na hribu:
Difficult terrain hampers movement. Each square of difficult terrain counts as 2 squares of movement. (Each diagonal move into a difficult terrain square counts as 3 squares.) You can’t run or charge across difficult terrain.
If you occupy squares with different kinds of terrain, you can move only as fast as the most difficult terrain you occupy will allow.
Flying and incorporeal creatures are not hampered by difficult terrain.
- "Exterminators in the west are chasing me and my pet snake, Sir Biteykins. Find me in the cave with a picture of a kobold hugging a snake with a top hat on the outside! Just such a drawing appears in crayon below the request.
- “Murderous house cat on the loose, stop it at all costs.”
- “The gnolls killed my dog They must PAY”
- “Dance Lessons Needed. ASAP!!”
- “Wife Kidnapped by Demon Bear. Justice wanted.”
- “Delivery person(s) needed. Must be discrete.”
- “Celebration tonight at Thwibble Stonefist’s place. Security and Beer needed.”
- “Brave adventures should investigate the cave of suffering.”
- Personal Tutors required for young noble woman, must know the sword, ettiquete, magic and other useful skills for a young woman to learn.
- Missing Griffion, please help find.
- Local boy goes missing, heroes required to find him, Mark, if you’re reading this, please come home.
- Negotiators required for dealings with local bandits, must bring own weapons.
- PLEASE HELP: Local Orc tribe agrees to intergrate if a local man beats their Cheiftan, Blacktooth Bloodfucker, master Brawler required to train local men. Please inquire within.
- “Competent cook needed for discrete client. Must have knowledge of ogre cuisine.”
- “Get RICH in door-to-door dagger sales. Good commission rates. No prior experience needed. Attend a free session at 147 Bucket Street”.
- “NUDE MODELS NEEDED”
- “WANTED: human cadavers. No questions asked. Freshness preferable, but optional.”
- Written neatly in cursive: “To whom it may concern: during a recent magical mishap, my spellbook became sapient and took leave of me to find adventure. He who returns it to me undamaged shall be rewarded greatly.
Note also that the book is quite persuasive and an unabashed liar; anything it has to say on the subject of treasonous activities or distasteful sexual practices is a falsehood designed to maintain its own ill-gotten freedom at my expense.”
- In a barely legible scrawl: “iz need girl troll for matin seezun. no advenchurers. anywun tryin ta skin me iz get skwisht.”
- “We Buy Shiny Trinkets!”
- “WANTED: Dragon scales. Paid on delivery.”
- “Merchant requires security detail to [city].”
- “Looking for experienced adventurers looking to do some retrieval work. Must be Discrete.”
With this one have them working for a local black market slaver. Have then capture elves / trolls / Orcs / <insert>
- “Witch paralyzed me and stole my clothes, please help me get revenge. Will pay upon completion of services rendered.”
-Hrothgar the Barbarian
- KNIFE FIGHT!
- “stolen ring. stolen by woman in white dress. Reward. little mikey”
- “Sailors needed for an unusual journey. Payment on completion of duties. Contact Captain Breadstone of the fine sloop Protagonist”
- “Druids, clerics, holy men and other divine enchanters needed to cure my daughter of a curse. 1000gp for results”
- “I dink mah haus iz hanted. Herd me som gosts de oder nite. Box of old crap fer yer trubles”
- “Band of settlers requested to seek out new frontiers, unfortold riches. Contact your local Mountainhome dignitary today! Strike the earth!”
- “Live subjects for experimentation needed. No long-term harm expected.”
- “Sparring partner required.”
- WORLD’S LARGEST CROSSBOW!
- “Wanted. Young, skinny, wiry fellows not over 18. Must be expert riders, willing to risk death daily. Orphans preferred.”
- S – T – O – P – !
How would you like to DRINK for COIN?
- Basement Infested with rats, need people with swords to come deal with it
- “Rat problem below Split Anvil Inn. Contact Barkeep for details.”
It’s a were-rat problem though…
- “1st Bank of [insert city name here] requires hardy adventurers to protect caravan to dwarven lands. High risk, high rewards.”
- Looking for mercs experienced in non stop traveling and possessing knowledge of bat country.
- “Loaf of owlbears terrorizing my daughters, experienced adventurers needed. Will pay in pies.”
- “Need special effects artist for the upcoming battle of the bards, meet in the shed next to the Gooseneck Inn all day Saturday.
- Baby lost, seeking many new babies as replacements. Report to the old cottage by Spider Cave.
- Troll used my outhouse last week, haven’t been able to go near it since. Cleric needed to dispel lingering evil.
- “For Sale: One Dagger. Never Used.”
- “Attention Bards!! My daughter’s 16 birthday is coming up and after the travesty that was her 15th, I want to make this one special. Performances must be musical in nature. Clothing REQUIRED!!”- “Exterminators Wanted: The storage room of my tavern seems to have been infested with giant rats. Need them gone before city health inspector shows up this Friday. Willing to pay in beer and use of bar wenches. NO BERSERKERS!” - “Help Wanted: Good with a knife? Enjoy working with your hands? Talented scrimshaw artisans wanted to help cover extra large order. Will be working in Ivory so experienced scrimshaw artisans only. Payment given per piece completed.” - “Healer Wanted: Must be discrete. Need to retrieve wife’s pet gerbil from….orifice….before she returns this weekend.” - "Want to learn Magic!? This Tuesday only, Rodolfo the Magnificent will be at the Bloated Boar Tavern & Inn offering Free Magic Lessons* from 4 to 7 pm. *Free Magic Lessons only valid with 2 drink minimum." - Miscellaneous magical creatures wanted. Contact Transmuter Kelvin in the Auld Tower. (Instructions to reach tower, couple miles out of town.) [PS] Live preferred. Will pay half for cadeavers, 1/4th x % of body for individual parts. MANLY MEN* OF MUSTACHIOED MIGHT AND MASTERY Is your grizzled facial thicket a steel wool of testosterone, scrubbing the ladies away as dainty elves cry in their soup? Whether you’re a sentient beard-golem that has somehow grown a dwarf, or simply a chinless neckbeard, spread true facial hair terror at the 253rd Annual Beard-Off, hosted by “Masticate’” Mastengard Ironson. BE THERE OR BE BARE! *Bearded ladies are acceptable. We do not discriminate by sex, merely the nakedness of one’s chin. Exterminator Abbatoir custodian Cesspit technician Gravedigger Tanner Gardener Dictation Hangman assistant Bilge cleaner ~ Ragged scrap of paper with nothing but a hand-smear of dark red substance. mysterious.. and somewhat gross. ~ Propaganda/racist slogans scribbled on the cork/on pieces of paper between and behind more legit postings. “Elves Should Go Back To Their Trees!” “gOliMs r MAde oF poo” Beware The Dwarf Menace! What are they hiding with those beards? Join Concerned Townspeople for Public Debate and Lynching"
- Do you lack that “certain something?” Is your performance leaving something to be desired? Custom magical arms and armor to order available at…- Don’t be left in the dark when it matters most, put your trust in Harold’s House of Hardy Handlanterns!
- “Kender done stole my spell component pouch! Bring him— alive or dead, doesn’t matter— and the pouch to the eastern tower, for a handsome reward.”
- “Are YOU a male adventurer considered Young for your species? Make extra money as a test subject for Magical Experimentation.”
- “Feemal Trol seecs kumpannyunship. Njoys lnog LONG wauks en kaves, torch litt dinerz, end otherr stuff. NO EDVENCHURURZ”
- Concerned mother requires Industry Experts to give adventure-curious son a firm Talking To.
- “Childless super-genius looking for suitable inheritor to a lifetime of adventuring legacy. Apply in person.”
- “Frogs raining from sky. Everyone complains about the weather, seeking someone to do something about it. Apply to Goatpath village.”
- “Young half elf male seeing group of 4 to 6 like minded individuals for Adventure this Saturday Night! Willing to host, provide food, and play music to set the mood if necessary.
Please, no one younger than 16. Must bring own dice.”
- EXPERIENCED WARRIORS NEEDED
To defend my underground keep from TROUBLESOME ADVENTURERS who have made REPEATED ATTEMPTS to burglar my most prized possessions.
TO INQUIRE- walk a mile out of town, stand in a marsh, and mutter “appointment requested.” A bugbear pulling a carriage will arrive.
- 100,000 sandwiches needed, freshness not an issue. Bring to civic center for reward.
- Butterfly infestation of untold severity. Not sure if serious, consultants needed.
- “Require portal opened to fellow researcher’s tower. Will pay all ritual costs.”
- “Hello! Forgive me, I’ve never posted anything like this before but groups of Adventures seem to attack my keep fairly regularly, and for no real reason to be honest. Anywho, I find myself in need of maids, butlers, cooks, stewards, and various other support staff to help tidy up the place after these incidents, and also to entertain guests and/or raiding adventuring parties. Wages negotiable depending on previous experience and willingness to work in close proximity of various types of gore. Must not be biased against the dead, undead, recently dead, or soon to be dead. Please apply as soon as possible.”
- “I have recently come into a windfall from a distant relative who is a high-ranking nobleman. Looking to spend new fortune on way to store an absurd amount of pornographic material in as small a volume as possible via physical, metaphysical, technological, divine, or arcane means.
Direct your inquiries to Prince Snaggletooth Fishmonger-Pendragon on Harbor Way.”
- “Wanted, comedic pair of dwarf and elf adventurers with sly wit for saving the world adventure. Contact serious human at Dragon’s Whore tavern.”- “FREE! Kobold adoption! Have boxes of the cute little runts, will give away cheap! Make great gofors, test subjects, and pets! Corner of 69th and main. FREE!” - "Wanted, group of experienced adventurers to pose as town guardsmen to “capture” other group of “adventurers” expected to arrive in 4 days hence. 95 coins per live arrest, 100 per body." - FOR SALE! Flying carpet made by the finest weavers of X and enchanted by me! Come to (the rest of the page is torn away) - Help! Rats have infested my basement and are destroying my pillows! I need them removed as humanely as possible. Come to X - DRINKING CONTEST EVERY MOONDAY! Come to the Rusty Trombone at sunset and bring lots of money. Winner drinks for free! - (written in dwarven) WANTED FOR PURCHASE: Fine elven weap- HAHAHAHAHAHAHA just kidding - Privateers needed to sabotage a merchant engaging in illegitimate business practices. Must be discreet and willing to get your hands dirty. Apply at X - Adventurers needed! Tree worshipers have been attacking my workers on my own land! Apply at X farmstead Northeast of town. - Art Collector searching for new pieces to add to his collection. I am interested in all kinds of art. Bring any pieces you are interested in selling to X. - Lost: Invisible Rod - "FOR SALE: Baby Shoes Never Worn" - WANTED: One Dragon-Slaying Unicorn. Also wanted: one hero to find and return one cursed male princess. Grand reward for both. Written underneith in neat scrawl I ran away for the upteenth time! Stop sending heros after me and let it go, you fucking wankers! Also, for the last time, Alfred, we are not friends. GO AWAY. child-like scrawl Yes we are! Scribble war starts here - Wanted: men experienced in paranormal phenomena to join our 4 man team. will be given own busting equipment and traps upon sign up. contanct Mr. Spengler at XXXX.